Countdown to Oppikoppi

It’s just under a month until my favourite time if the year

A time where madness is mundane, alcoholism is acceptable and fun is enforced – yes, I’m talking about Oppikoppi, that wonderful dusty shithole that transforms into the epicentre of a whirlwind of music, booze and more dust just once a year.

In the words of my Cape Town homies – I’m poes-excited

This will be my third Oppi and I think I’m actually properly prepared this time round (although this is what I said last year)

Some changes from last year include:

A girlfriend

Condom catheters to minimise time wasted by trekking to the loo

‘Rocket Fuel’ intravenous nutrient bags, and 2 doctors to apply them

Acid, as opposed to mushrooms

A blow-up mattress that actually blows up

And a newly relocated Capetonian who will be experiencing her first Oppi ever. 

See you there prawns!

Oppikoppi 2012 – The Aftermath

The Sweetest Thing

Its all over. We made it.

We made it through the dust, the drugs and the devil music. We made it through the hiking, hangovers and Jose. (Its an ‘H’ phonetically ok)
We made it.

Personally, this year was the best Oppi I have been too. Everything combined just made it incredible.
Here are some of the lessons I learned this year:

Having a shower whilst tripping is pretty amazing
18 grams of mushrooms are not too much for one man. They are far too much for one man.
Bring your own shade with you
Magaritas are a valid breakfast
The vegan food stall is the only place where vitamins live
Make as many new friends as you can
Take as many old friends with you as you can
Get there at least a day early
Babylon Circus, Tidal Waves, Thieve, Black Cat Bones, Shortstraw, Fridge Poetry, PHFat, Jeremy Loops, The Stellas, Eagles of Death Metal and Enter Shikari will make your face explode with awesomeness
Hug Attacks make everyones life better
Disco Jesus and the Christmas Chom will make a reappearance
Make sure you’ve packed your Johnnyboys and Dreamers- no one we asked had a single one of either.
Try not to poo. If you do, give yourself enough time to get to top bar.
Give. You reap what you sow.

To my new friends, Ben, Chad, Nick, Chrissy, Ricky, Lyle, Alex and Adam- thank you for being amazing. Chrissy and Cremer- you guys are legends.
To my old homies, thank you once again for being just as amazing. Phil, Vicky, Dave and Ryan- you guys partied like the rock stars you are.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and seeing as it has taken me almost 2 weeks to cobble this together- I’ll let the cameras do the talking. All credit to where it is due for these photos.

The Devil’s Dustbowl

Tom- Shortstraw

Carrie from Fridge Poetry- Mmm mmm mmm

Alistair – Shortstraw

Yes, yes I was.

From passed out to party in 15 seconds

The Christmas Chom and the Drunken Pope

I dont know who these people are. They are awesome though. Although he did drop my joint in his drink

Margaritaville’s finest

The Vanilsh Gorilsh

Disco Jesus and Flea

See you all next year. Hail Satan.

Oppikoppi – Prologue

The Holy Land

I seem to be addressing lots of posts to people who live under rocks lately.
Henceforth- Morloks.

My Dear Morloks

Oppikoppi is the oldest and most successful music festival in the world. San bushmen first discovered the Holy Site in the North West of what is now South Africa over 25, 000 years ago- and some allege that this is where they first cobbled together Riaan Cruywagen 1.0
In addition to creating excellent and timeless newsreaders, Oppikoppi also falls along ley lines that connect it to EVERY OTHER MUSICAL FESTIVAL IN THE UNIVERSE- a sight which results in visitor’s psyches being altered forever, in many diverse and pleasurable ways which may or may not include hallucinations and delusions of actually being a San bushmen.

Other delusions may include thinking you are a gay bear- and may result in attempts at homosexual bear sex- as seen below.

Bear Sex- You could be it’s next ‘victim’

Oppikoppi, as we know it, is a 3 day festival of ‘music’ – but it goes further than that. It is 3 days of human bonding- in the biblical sense, on a psychic level and of course the special bond only humans can share- the bond of music. Music is the glue of the world, according to Mark from Empire Records- and nowhere else is this more true than at Oppikoppi. Generally when people who don’t know each other get together and imbibe various intoxicating substances there is a level of aggression, especially in the fast-paced, high-pressure world we find ourselves in. Well, if you’re from Joburg at least.
At oppikoppi, this happens:

I dont actually know anyone in this picture

It’s difficult to explain Oppi to people who havent been. These guys try:

I am no longer an Oppikoppi Virgin

http://www.tailsofamermaid.com/2011/08/oppikoppi-what-to-take-brought-to-you.html

And the best Oppi survival guide I have read: http://www.mojodojo.co.za/2011/08/02/oppikoppi/

I’ve been to many music festivals around the world, and I can confirdently say that most don’t even hold a candle to our beloved Oppi. Organisation of world-class standards, excellent food, cheap drink, brilliant bands and a devil-may-care attitude of all the disciples. It’s as if the laws of the country outside of the farm don’t exist from the moment you snap the bangle round your wrist.

Last year I saw rastas asking cops for directions with a massive joint in their hands, I saw dudes braaing someone else’s chicken for them at 4am. I shared my tent with strangers, I slept in strangers tents. It was like a magical hippie music wonderland.

If you cant tell, I’m excited.

Last year I almost broke myself because I partied too hard, so this year I plan on taking it easy, taking lots of photos and educating you all further. This is the prologue.