Hello friends, strangers and people I want to fuck.
Welcome to 2013- the first year since 1320 when people scared of the numbers 20 and 13 are screwed.
I thought I’d be one of the last to welcome you to this year because you know, fashion.
Speaking of fashion- this year I predict Magenta and Floral Prints are going to be in for men, whereas the ladies are going to be going gaga for bondage gear. Its going to be a scorcher on the fashion front.
Sports-wise, the Proteas will continue to not make an impact in my life, whilst Bafana Bafana will rise to at least the bottom 7/8ths of world football teams.
The mighty Springboks will of course decimate all opponents, depending on whether they take my advice to all grow beards. Beards are power. It has been written.
On the music front, I predict that Taylor Swift and Adele will start a short-lived yet tumultuous relationship, lasting just 6 months but providing enough creative inspiration for at least 7 albums each. Expect tears.
In the political sphere, Zuma is going to reveal himself as one of the lizard-people David Icke writes about, only the Windsors and Bushes and other Illuminati lizard families will immediately disown him. This will pave the way for our own burger king, Cyril, to apply the MacDonalds way of thinking to our government. Of course this is SA MacD’s we’re talking about, so pretty much nothing will change.
I plan on making this, my thirtieth year on this earth, a goodie. I invite you all to join me. I’m going to be making shitloads of music this year and visiting Amsterdam in May/June, so keep reading and giving me sneaky reach-around handjobs.
Happy 2013 everyone!
Revolutionary Throwback 