With February breathing in our face like a small yappy-type dog called Gaspode, I thought I’d take stock of how 2013 has gone so far.
1. On the 3rd of January, I made a decision to stop drinking.
This was based on the fact that when I saw myself in the mirror, I died. Literally, I have seen the other side and trust me- it’s not a place you want to spend eternity. Haha jokes.
So far the quitting drinking has resulted in one proposal of marriage, a couple high fives and no sex.
Dont quit drinking. It might be noble but it’s not sexy
2. Lance Armstrong
Fuck that guy
And lol at the Australian book stores who moved his books to the fiction section. Sick burn
2a. Oprah
Fuck her too. She has enough money and she’s retired. Fuck off.
Its your fault we’re even talking about Lance.
3. The ANC
Continue unabated to run our country like their parent’s bank account. We all know politics is about egos, but you’d swear the ANC are 15 years old, not 100. Throwing their toys out the cot every time someone potentially maybe just about insults them. Maybe if you governed you wouldn’t need to be defending yourselves constantly.
Interestingly, the company that teaches people to fish, Oxfam, says South Africa is more unequal now than it was at the end of apartheid.
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Oh sorry, I was just waiting for the Youth League to comment.
4. Music
I started a new band and was blown away by Melody Kaye’s singing voice again. If she wasn’t already married I would hire an earth-moving machine to spade her on an industrial level.
I also caught Hagen Engler laying down some slam poetry at the Brazen head, after which we decided that the best number of guitarists in a band is 6,738 – no more, no less.
5. Dale
My cousin, @badtennis_ educated us all on why Rawson’s properties hates you. Like all his posts, it’s a great read- check him out on the tweeeeetah and wordpress. Badtennis.
6. Community Service
I’m a helpful motherfucker. Sometimes that help is to educate someone on their douchiness, sometimes its something that they can use. This month I explained to a friend that you can never understand girls and that each one is unique and different, but if you can make them laugh and you’re not a swamp donkey then you have a chance with them. Right ladies? Want to hear a joke?
What I realised in my various conversations with people having difficulties is that you always know inside yourself what the right answer is- but sometimes its the hard road and we’re all lazy and scared. Just do it.
RIP Kevin and Granny Maureen, you will be missed. January curse strikes again.
I’ll leave you with this thought:
My bad, you guys aren’t mind readers. You just put whatever you want in there.
Revolutionary Throwback 