I was talking with a very attractive lady recently, and we were talking of high school shenanigans. She, it appears, was super hardcore. I was not.
I was pretty well behaved and my teachers all liked me. I never got into trouble, mainly because I never used to carry out any of my own schemes. I had some minions who, until they wised up, used to be the implementers of my pranks and schemes. They wised up after about the third time I got off scott-free and they got detention.
This story is not about these times, but it is about one of these people.
We were 16, turning 17 – at that age where you know everything and you’re not afraid to let other people know. Where you start drinking every weekend and girls become your single-minded focus. Where you accidentally make out with a second cousi… OH, wait yes, that’s not what everyone’s puberty is about.
Anyways, I had a friend – Eddie – who was clearly being drastically affected by his hormones. He had grown pretty fast and as a result (I’m guessing here) his body was tired and he was always half-asleep in class. (Well it was either the hormones or the incessant masturbation)
It so happened that we had a co-ed sex ed class scheduled for Life Orientation.
It also happened that a student teacher was scheduled to take this class.
You couldn’t really ask for a better set up. Thanks universe.
This student teacher, a fairly petite and fresh-faced young lady, knew she had a big ask- to teach sex education to a bunch of jaded 17 year-olds, most of which had probably already been having sex for at least a year. (I had a very sexy school)
She decided the best option would be to take a gung-ho approach and try and pre-emptively beat us at our own game. Lewd, crude and rude. All guns blazing. This was her plan.
Good plan.
On paper.
She strode into the class, pulled down an illustration of the female genitalia and boldly issued the following challenge: “Who can tell me what this is?”
Now, any normal, awkward teenager may have been taken aback by this in-your-face approach to S-E-X. Eddie however, arose like a phoenix from the flames, pushing his chair back and standing up proudly. He pointed to the board and shouted:
“Its a cunt!”
Well played Eddie, well played.
Revolutionary Throwback 