I’m getting good at these pun-ny titles hey?
This, in the vein of entertaining you folks rather than ranting at the farce we call our government, I will regale you with another story from my not so distant past…
The Time: 2004
The Place: Johannesburg – Northern Suburbs
The Occasion: Natalie’s Birthday Party
Agent 00Pete reporting. The squad has arrived at the operational area, it consists of one man with a smile so big it almost touches at the back of his head, a ginger who thinks he’s not and me, dressed in a tutu and cute strappy top with polka dots.
The local population consisted mainly of girls. Well, I was only looking for girls. As usual when a man (read: me) goes out with the intention of getting laid, they pretty much ignored me. There was a short liaison in the garden maze, but nothing worth reporting (read: I got horribly dissed)
After extraction, Pete got tired of using the military report style of writing.
Agent 00Pete out.
So Chad, Garron and Steve were in the car with me and we were being merry, having already ate and drank.
We were in the car and on our way home when the craving for an ice-cream took me. And it took me without asking, or even cajoling. One minute drunk, the next, ready to kill for a frozen dairy-based dessert.
I realised when we stopped that my skin-tight choice of clothing had left no space for my wallet and I was in fact broke.
However, the craving was not abating.
I suggested that if my friends paid for it, I would go into the garage shop and buy the ice-cream… Naked.
With much averting of eyes, and contortion on my part, I managed to remove the strappy top, tutu and underwear, whilst still retaining my cowboy hat, boots and rainbow striped socks. It was incredible.
I vacated the vehicle, nonchalantly moseyed on into the shop, ignoring the gasps of the ladies behind the counter, selected my frozen treat and approached the tills.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want an ice-cream”
“…”
I like to think that those ladies learnt three important lessons that night.
Cowboys exist. They’re sexy as hell. And they leave their hats on.
Revolutionary Throwback 